Christmas Vacation Viewings: 34
Days Until Disney World: 13
So, as I blogged about earlier in the week, the holiday party festivities began last night with my company’s holiday party, which took place at the St. Louis City Museum.
It was fantastic…and I don’t have to feel bad about eating somewhat unhealthy, although I didn’t really eat all that much. Let me explain.
The St. Louis City Museum isn’t really a museum. It’s basically a giant playground for adults. There are caves, slides, ball pits, stuff you can climb on, stuff you can climb through, stuff that makes you think you’re going to die, and then something that makes you feel like you’re being born…I’ll get to that in a minute.
The party kicked off around 7:00, and as you can probably guess, started with some awkward mingling, some drinks and an announcement from David, the CEO. Dinner was then served. It wasn’t really a full dinner, it consisted of some chicken wings that were not heavily sauced, but breaded, some roasted veggies, some crackers and spinach artichoke dip, some smoked salmon sushi rolls, mini roast-beef sandwiches, some sort of beef on a stick, and my favorite were these little pinwheel wraps with cream cheese. Pretty good spread.
The good thing about the finger foods are that the plates are small, but the bad thing is that it’s easy to overindulge because you keep going back or snacking. Well, that wasn’t an issue, because at the end of the night I was about as worn out as I’ve ever been.
After dinner, I was standing around talking to my friend Chris, who asked if I had a chance to walk around yet. I said no, and we strolled off. I left Wendy behind, but she was in trusted hands, so it was OK. We ran into another coworker, Todd, and the three of us ventured into the caves.
No, it’s not a real cave, it’s manufactured, but it does resemble a real cave, with stalactites and stalagmites and the whole nine yards. Well, you can wind many different ways through these caves, each with different ways to ascend higher into the structure. It’s so hard to describe, because it’s so intricate, but there are a bunch of fake-rock pathways and tunnels that you can find your way through.
Eventually, we got to a point, somewhat high up into the structure, that turns to old-time industrial metal spiral staircases that all wind together, but climb extremely high. You get to a point where there’s a net to catch you if you accidentally fall over the edge…but that’s only about halfway (side note: if you fell before you got to the net, it’s still certain death).
Once I got to the top, a few things occurred. A. I was winded. B. I was sweating and C. I was trying to figure out what this chute-looking thing was. I saw one on my way up that looked like a garbage chute that spiraled part of the way down and then dropped off into nothing.
This one had an opening. Chris and I were at the top, staring at it as if it were certain doom. We weren’t sure what was supposed to happen. It was clearly not blocked off, and there were rungs at the top to keep you from flying out, but would it, too, drop off into nothing, resulting in instant death?
Only one way to find out, right? I hopped in feet-first and slid in circles, at all times keeping my hands near the rungs, in case I had to hang on for dear life. It turns out that I didn’t, and it was, in fact, a slide. It was also amazing. While Chris waited to find out what happened, I only replied with ‘I’m going again’ and made my way back up to the top of the structure.
Eventually we made our way back out and reconviened with a larger part of the group, who had already talked to Todd about the giant slide. They wanted to go, but couldn’t find it. I was to act as their Sherpa, a role which I kept for the rest of the night, leading groups up to the top of the giant slide five times….F-I-V-E times up what I found out today was the equivalent of 17 stories worth of stairs. (I included a picture from the City Museum website, www.citymuseum.org, that doesn’t really do this justice, but just so you can at least sort of see what I’m talking about.)
In between my sherpaing, I found time to check out the aquarium and some of the other attractions, one of which Wendy described as traveling through the birth canal…she didn’t enjoy that one very much. I, on the other hand, enjoyed it very much, simply because it made me feel skinny. You see, you have to start by climbing what appears to be a giant, stretched out slinky. It doesn’t wobble like a slinky, it’s firm (that’s what she said…which was probably the phrase of the night with so many reactions like ‘that was hard’…), but it looks like a slinky. I didn’t think I was going to fit in it, but alas, after much debate, I did, and I made my way to the top.
The slinky leads into a series of tunnels that resemble what you’d find at Tumble Drum or Discovery Zone, one of those kids places…except they were (barely) big enough for me. These wound around, there were some windows and some places you can see down to the people walking around and then you got to this bridge, a very small bridge, of rollers.
I was following Rease, who said ‘you go first, because I’ll have to talk you through this.’ That’s never good. I entered the ‘rolly tunnel of death’ on my stomach, pulling myself along the rollers (it’s not big enough to stand or sit in…). When you get to the end, there’s only one way out…through a tunnel made of metal poles converging in a hole that appears to be the size of a catcher’s mit. No, I’m not exaggerating. This is why I needed Rease to talk me through it. I hesitated (’No ******* way, Rease!’) but then attempted to squeeze myself through. I had to get skinny, I had to think skinny, and I had to pull like hell because there’s no using your legs. I managed to get into the tunnel, which was a tight squeeze on it’s own, and to the top of the catcher’s mit-sized hole. I plunged my arms in, then my face, then grabbed a pole on the inside and pulled. I was through. I was skinny.
I felt like I had been born. The entire crew came out right behind me, with Sherrie and I catching Wendy as she tumbled from the ‘birth canal.’ I think it was a little traumatic for her to be born again, but for me, while it was scary, it was still pretty awesome.
We ended our time at the City Museum on the outdoor activities (it was FREEZING also..) which included a ball pit and a bunch more stuff to climb on, once again extending high in the air…just to make sure we were extra worn out. There were hollowed out airplanes at the top of the outdoor structure which were connected by a series of metal tubes resembling the giant slinky. There was also a ’slide’ that resembled the eliminator from American Gladiators, except without the backwards treadmill, just the rope.
We got back home around 1:00 a.m. after making a stop at the Flamingo Bowl down the street, and Wendy went immediately to bed because she had to work this morning. As part of our Holiday Party, I had the day off today…it’s very nice.
Of course, this all occurred after I decided to push myself extra hard on the treadmill yesterday morning. I usually run at 5.0 for about 15 minutes before I have to stop and walk for a little bit and pick it back up to complete my 30 minutes. Well, last week, I decided to ramp it up to 5.5 for a couple minutes before I’d slow down to walk.
Yesterday, however, I decided to run the whole thing, 25 straight minutes with five-minute cool down. I’m happy to report that I accomplished that task. I ran the first 10 minutes at 5.0, amped it up to 5.5 for the next 10 and then ran five more at 5.0 before cooling down. It was awesome.
Song of the Day: Roc Boys - Jay Z. I also amped it up this morning on the stair machine (yes, I did the stair machine this morning after climbing all those stairs last night…), going 15 minutes straight at level seven. Usually, I have to bring it back down for a minute or two, but I pressed on. Mental toughness.
I’m covered in bruises and I feel like a battered, beaten man…but if I didn’t lose weight this week after all that exertion, I’m not sure what else to do. I just need to watch myself Saturday night at Wendy’s Holiday Party…there certainly won’t be any climbing to balance out those calories.
More tomorrow.
-Brett
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